Excerpt from books

(p. 51 Experiencing Grief, H. Norman Wright)

“Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence” (Psalm 42:5 NASB)

It reminds us that God is present. There is never a moment that he isn’t walking with us. In grief we feel isolated, alone. When we focus on that feeling, we forget that we are never, ever alone.

It may help to say, “God, you say you are present. I don’t feel your presence. I feel your absence. God, work on my mind so I remember that you are present, and in time I may feel your presence. But right now I need the knowledge.”

Remember another Psalm: “I sought the Lord, and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears … The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:4)

Remember Jesus’ promise: “I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy.” (John 16:20)



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The Expression of Tears (p. 34 Experiencing Grief, H. Norman Wright)

So much is distilled in our tears, not the least of which is wisdom in living life. From my own tears I have learned that if you follow your tears, you will find you heart. If you find your heart, you will find what is dear to God. And if you find what is dear to God, you will find the answer to how you should live your life. (Ken Gire, Windows of the Soul, p. 195)

A promise for your future is found in Psalm 126: 5 – 6:

Those who sow in tears
Will reap with songs of joy.
He who goes out weeping,
Carrying seed to sow,
Will return with songs of joy,
Carrying sheaves with him.
Psalm 18: 16 – 19

He reached down from on high
And took hold of me;
He drew me out of deep waters.
He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
From my foes, who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
But the LORD was my support.
He brought me into a spacious place;
He rescued me because he delighted in me.

(p. 33 Experiencing Grief, H. Norman Wright)

Do you hear how God regards you? He not only loves you; he delights in you. During your darkest hour hold on to those words. Not only that but God moves “near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18 NASB)

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(p. 70 Experiencing Grief, H. Norman Wright)


At some point “letting go” will be a step in your grief journey. We resist it because we think it means not caring anymore or blocking out the memories of my loved one. Letting go is not the same as not caring. It doesn’t mean not remembering your loved one. You want to do that. You need to, for memories are what you have left. Initially those sharp memories can be painful, but in time they begin to fade, and that in itself can be another loss. No, letting go means taking the energy and emotional investment you had in that relationship and beginning to invest it elsewhere. It’s shifting your focus. Letting go is leaving behind the person you lost in such a way that you’re free to move on. To let go you need to recognize what needs letting go. It could be regrets, unfulfilled expectations, anger, the lifestyle you used to have, or even a routine. Easy? No. Necessary? Yes. There’s an insecurity in letting go but a greater security in embracing life. It’s a process that may be repetitive, and some days will seem frerr than others. And it occurs when you are ready. [ Joyce Rupp, Praying Our Goodbyes (New York: Ivy Books, 1988), 94 – 97]