Grey's Anatomy:
Get Better. and Live! (dear people)
Victories is counted by the lives saved.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
SC 2010
amazing speaker during SC 2010 - satisfying my appetit for the Word!
A very lovely closure to the lovely farewell I had with people at 10 Dyas last Friday! I will keep everything that you guys said and the encouraging word in my heart! I pray that the wonderful friendship that was built will grow and the broken relationship with Indriani, Kara and Larrie will be redeemed / repaired.
Goodbye Business, Goodbye Commerce, Goodbye finanical analysing, goodbye forecasting/budget - Huge relief
Father, thank you for the intimate guidance on my every step - you open my eyes, and you're really amazing....you lead me on to journey that I have never expected, finding lovely friendship that is beyond my imagination! I do love you.
If I fail in being faithful, I know you'll remain faithful.
You who begin the work in me will not stop until the work is complete.
My task is to seek and follow your heart, Jesus - and to grow to know you. I love you.
A very lovely closure to the lovely farewell I had with people at 10 Dyas last Friday! I will keep everything that you guys said and the encouraging word in my heart! I pray that the wonderful friendship that was built will grow and the broken relationship with Indriani, Kara and Larrie will be redeemed / repaired.
Goodbye Business, Goodbye Commerce, Goodbye finanical analysing, goodbye forecasting/budget - Huge relief
Father, thank you for the intimate guidance on my every step - you open my eyes, and you're really amazing....you lead me on to journey that I have never expected, finding lovely friendship that is beyond my imagination! I do love you.
If I fail in being faithful, I know you'll remain faithful.
You who begin the work in me will not stop until the work is complete.
My task is to seek and follow your heart, Jesus - and to grow to know you. I love you.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Excerpt from books
(p. 51 Experiencing Grief, H. Norman Wright)
“Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence” (Psalm 42:5 NASB)
It reminds us that God is present. There is never a moment that he isn’t walking with us. In grief we feel isolated, alone. When we focus on that feeling, we forget that we are never, ever alone.
It may help to say, “God, you say you are present. I don’t feel your presence. I feel your absence. God, work on my mind so I remember that you are present, and in time I may feel your presence. But right now I need the knowledge.”
Remember another Psalm: “I sought the Lord, and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears … The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:4)
Remember Jesus’ promise: “I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy.” (John 16:20)
~*
The Expression of Tears (p. 34 Experiencing Grief, H. Norman Wright)
So much is distilled in our tears, not the least of which is wisdom in living life. From my own tears I have learned that if you follow your tears, you will find you heart. If you find your heart, you will find what is dear to God. And if you find what is dear to God, you will find the answer to how you should live your life. (Ken Gire, Windows of the Soul, p. 195)
A promise for your future is found in Psalm 126: 5 – 6:
Those who sow in tears
Will reap with songs of joy.
He who goes out weeping,
Carrying seed to sow,
Will return with songs of joy,
Carrying sheaves with him.
Psalm 18: 16 – 19
He reached down from on high
And took hold of me;
He drew me out of deep waters.
He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
From my foes, who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
But the LORD was my support.
He brought me into a spacious place;
He rescued me because he delighted in me.
(p. 33 Experiencing Grief, H. Norman Wright)
Do you hear how God regards you? He not only loves you; he delights in you. During your darkest hour hold on to those words. Not only that but God moves “near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18 NASB)
~*
(p. 70 Experiencing Grief, H. Norman Wright)
At some point “letting go” will be a step in your grief journey. We resist it because we think it means not caring anymore or blocking out the memories of my loved one. Letting go is not the same as not caring. It doesn’t mean not remembering your loved one. You want to do that. You need to, for memories are what you have left. Initially those sharp memories can be painful, but in time they begin to fade, and that in itself can be another loss. No, letting go means taking the energy and emotional investment you had in that relationship and beginning to invest it elsewhere. It’s shifting your focus. Letting go is leaving behind the person you lost in such a way that you’re free to move on. To let go you need to recognize what needs letting go. It could be regrets, unfulfilled expectations, anger, the lifestyle you used to have, or even a routine. Easy? No. Necessary? Yes. There’s an insecurity in letting go but a greater security in embracing life. It’s a process that may be repetitive, and some days will seem frerr than others. And it occurs when you are ready. [ Joyce Rupp, Praying Our Goodbyes (New York: Ivy Books, 1988), 94 – 97]
“Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence” (Psalm 42:5 NASB)
It reminds us that God is present. There is never a moment that he isn’t walking with us. In grief we feel isolated, alone. When we focus on that feeling, we forget that we are never, ever alone.
It may help to say, “God, you say you are present. I don’t feel your presence. I feel your absence. God, work on my mind so I remember that you are present, and in time I may feel your presence. But right now I need the knowledge.”
Remember another Psalm: “I sought the Lord, and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears … The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:4)
Remember Jesus’ promise: “I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy.” (John 16:20)
~*
The Expression of Tears (p. 34 Experiencing Grief, H. Norman Wright)
So much is distilled in our tears, not the least of which is wisdom in living life. From my own tears I have learned that if you follow your tears, you will find you heart. If you find your heart, you will find what is dear to God. And if you find what is dear to God, you will find the answer to how you should live your life. (Ken Gire, Windows of the Soul, p. 195)
A promise for your future is found in Psalm 126: 5 – 6:
Those who sow in tears
Will reap with songs of joy.
He who goes out weeping,
Carrying seed to sow,
Will return with songs of joy,
Carrying sheaves with him.
Psalm 18: 16 – 19
He reached down from on high
And took hold of me;
He drew me out of deep waters.
He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
From my foes, who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
But the LORD was my support.
He brought me into a spacious place;
He rescued me because he delighted in me.
(p. 33 Experiencing Grief, H. Norman Wright)
Do you hear how God regards you? He not only loves you; he delights in you. During your darkest hour hold on to those words. Not only that but God moves “near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18 NASB)
~*
(p. 70 Experiencing Grief, H. Norman Wright)
At some point “letting go” will be a step in your grief journey. We resist it because we think it means not caring anymore or blocking out the memories of my loved one. Letting go is not the same as not caring. It doesn’t mean not remembering your loved one. You want to do that. You need to, for memories are what you have left. Initially those sharp memories can be painful, but in time they begin to fade, and that in itself can be another loss. No, letting go means taking the energy and emotional investment you had in that relationship and beginning to invest it elsewhere. It’s shifting your focus. Letting go is leaving behind the person you lost in such a way that you’re free to move on. To let go you need to recognize what needs letting go. It could be regrets, unfulfilled expectations, anger, the lifestyle you used to have, or even a routine. Easy? No. Necessary? Yes. There’s an insecurity in letting go but a greater security in embracing life. It’s a process that may be repetitive, and some days will seem frerr than others. And it occurs when you are ready. [ Joyce Rupp, Praying Our Goodbyes (New York: Ivy Books, 1988), 94 – 97]
Friday, June 18, 2010
Extraavaganza 2010 Summer
Dear girls' group, all of you are so beautiful....showing me how daughters of God are truly like.
I'm not the same person after meeting you all, all of you are so beautiful and lively, genuine and natural. You've helped me to grow to becoming a better me and....I am happy, but there is no word to describe it...I am still and quiet, and filled with joy - this is a solemn moment I always always want it to stay and not fade away....this is my feelings everytime after our meetings. This is so nourishing and fill with life.
Dear Kaarina, you're our teacher. Your grace and patience welcome every single one of us, coming to you, sharing just everything that's on our hearts, thank you for welcoming us the way that we are. Your Bible teaching penetrate in all areas of my life like a sweet aroma, the teaching and the understanding just come in handy whenever I need it. Thank you. I will pray for your health and recovery on the foot surgery.
Dear Hannah....thank you so much....your quiet and gentle spirit nurture people around you. Thank you for your sensitivity and your kindness.
Dear Elizabeth ... you're very gifted and talented. You're very organize and plan everything very well. You did so many things that benefit people around you...you're always naturally comforting people around you.
(I am so touched, I feel like crying today....I'm so touched by the love and joy that I experienced at dinner.)
Love multiply and Joy is contagious....
Kathy and Salina...it's amusing to just listen to the stories and jokes you girls tell......so much laughter......thank you girls, for so sensitively understanding, you girls have taught me how to sensitively concern about the needs of other people. Kathy, your gift in Art and Craft capture my heart, and your loving kindness truly go straight to my heart. Salina....you're witty...and fun, and humorous and both of you are SO beautiful!
Jen - you're the youngest one among us, but you're wise, and you know and you do so much for us...not to mention your beauty too - you're inspiring.
Jaz - =) you know you're cool and beautiful; whether you talk or when you're remain quiet, when you write or play the piano....Jaz......
Wendy - I learned so much from you ... you truly have a gift in prayers / always well-planned and well organized, I wonder where you find so many information on raising children. I will continue to pray that Lil Lil and Ben Ben will grow up healthily to become godly people who will serve the Lord whole-heartedly.
Joyce and Jenny - we miss you today at Extraavaganza
Joyce: a real explorer who has been to SO many parts of the world already and is continuing to travel around the world with Jon now - trying to truly learn the needs of each place and each people group so they can serve them better
Jenny: you're humourous and natural :) so kind-hearted and sensitive / Thank you for your encouragement Always.
You girls help me to grow to see my potential, and give me faith to live up to the call even before I see my potential. From the bottom of my heart - Thank you.
With all your company, I'm less afriad to live out my call and fight against the things that are unsatisfying. Each one of you truly tell me how ...by standing firm, you can make a difference those around you. You have made a difference in my life.
Regine - I want to make a positive difference too....not by trying, or striving, but by...naturally dwelling in the River of Grace from the Lord - and let gentleness / patience / kindness naturally welcoming people into my life
while I live and do work with prudence and excellence.
This is My Commitment.
All of you - help me to understand biblical teaching very practically, lively and interestingly in everyday life.
I love you, Thank you for the Love!
I'm not the same person after meeting you all, all of you are so beautiful and lively, genuine and natural. You've helped me to grow to becoming a better me and....I am happy, but there is no word to describe it...I am still and quiet, and filled with joy - this is a solemn moment I always always want it to stay and not fade away....this is my feelings everytime after our meetings. This is so nourishing and fill with life.
Dear Kaarina, you're our teacher. Your grace and patience welcome every single one of us, coming to you, sharing just everything that's on our hearts, thank you for welcoming us the way that we are. Your Bible teaching penetrate in all areas of my life like a sweet aroma, the teaching and the understanding just come in handy whenever I need it. Thank you. I will pray for your health and recovery on the foot surgery.
Dear Hannah....thank you so much....your quiet and gentle spirit nurture people around you. Thank you for your sensitivity and your kindness.
Dear Elizabeth ... you're very gifted and talented. You're very organize and plan everything very well. You did so many things that benefit people around you...you're always naturally comforting people around you.
(I am so touched, I feel like crying today....I'm so touched by the love and joy that I experienced at dinner.)
Love multiply and Joy is contagious....
Kathy and Salina...it's amusing to just listen to the stories and jokes you girls tell......so much laughter......thank you girls, for so sensitively understanding, you girls have taught me how to sensitively concern about the needs of other people. Kathy, your gift in Art and Craft capture my heart, and your loving kindness truly go straight to my heart. Salina....you're witty...and fun, and humorous and both of you are SO beautiful!
Jen - you're the youngest one among us, but you're wise, and you know and you do so much for us...not to mention your beauty too - you're inspiring.
Jaz - =) you know you're cool and beautiful; whether you talk or when you're remain quiet, when you write or play the piano....Jaz......
Wendy - I learned so much from you ... you truly have a gift in prayers / always well-planned and well organized, I wonder where you find so many information on raising children. I will continue to pray that Lil Lil and Ben Ben will grow up healthily to become godly people who will serve the Lord whole-heartedly.
Joyce and Jenny - we miss you today at Extraavaganza
Joyce: a real explorer who has been to SO many parts of the world already and is continuing to travel around the world with Jon now - trying to truly learn the needs of each place and each people group so they can serve them better
Jenny: you're humourous and natural :) so kind-hearted and sensitive / Thank you for your encouragement Always.
You girls help me to grow to see my potential, and give me faith to live up to the call even before I see my potential. From the bottom of my heart - Thank you.
With all your company, I'm less afriad to live out my call and fight against the things that are unsatisfying. Each one of you truly tell me how ...by standing firm, you can make a difference those around you. You have made a difference in my life.
Regine - I want to make a positive difference too....not by trying, or striving, but by...naturally dwelling in the River of Grace from the Lord - and let gentleness / patience / kindness naturally welcoming people into my life
while I live and do work with prudence and excellence.
This is My Commitment.
All of you - help me to understand biblical teaching very practically, lively and interestingly in everyday life.
I love you, Thank you for the Love!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Softball (game 2 - My first game)
I couldn't believe I was standing on the field this afternoon....
batting.....and my bat had contact with the ball......it's Completely unbelievable..............Next practice, I've gotta be more serious and try harder...just have to run faster faster......sprint!!!!!!!
I learned the rules for softball and how to run to different bases............hm.........recalling my first practice a couple weeks ago, I have absolutely No clue!! Wow, I am amazed.
The team and the coaches are So encouraging................This is unbelievable....and we've 1 devotion after each game. I had never been in a team sport befor. This is definitely a very blessed start. Thank you, Heavenly Father.
Gotta continue to protect myself with sport tape...and gotta practice more to prevent from injuries. This is neat.
Yeah, Chester and my brother encouraged me to go play and have fun........I never expect playing softball would be fun, but this is definitely an enjoyable afternoon!! neat! Cool!
batting.....and my bat had contact with the ball......it's Completely unbelievable..............Next practice, I've gotta be more serious and try harder...just have to run faster faster......sprint!!!!!!!
I learned the rules for softball and how to run to different bases............hm.........recalling my first practice a couple weeks ago, I have absolutely No clue!! Wow, I am amazed.
The team and the coaches are So encouraging................This is unbelievable....and we've 1 devotion after each game. I had never been in a team sport befor. This is definitely a very blessed start. Thank you, Heavenly Father.
Gotta continue to protect myself with sport tape...and gotta practice more to prevent from injuries. This is neat.
Yeah, Chester and my brother encouraged me to go play and have fun........I never expect playing softball would be fun, but this is definitely an enjoyable afternoon!! neat! Cool!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
it's safe
What can I say?
Every Thursday - piano class ...
it's just safe - I don't play very well, but I'll not be accused of playing wrong notes, wrong tempo, wrong rhythm or unawareness of the harmonic rhythm...
I wouldn't be accused of anything...
except I'll be corrected, very kindly, patiently corrected ... every week, again and again, until I can do it naturally.
Sometimes I'm afriad that I'll feel ashame of my performance, but everytime after class, I felt relief because my teacher will never ever put me to shame...even though he is Very goood!
Don't know when I started to develop this mentality thinking that if people are very good at something...if I don't perform as well as they are, I will feel shameful.
But it's the exact opposite. If someone is truly....really good at something, they'll be the last person who will try to make you feel ashame.
This is the kindness and gentleness I have been experiencing of Father in Heaven lately...The Lord is good.
This is unbelievable.
This experience.
~*
So....today's weather is so fine........gentle breeze and a lovely blue sky....
Shawn, Jen, Brian and I walked to the nearby plaza during lunch...under the bridge and across the railway....after getting our sandwich at Krinzo, we ate outside the office, under the shades. It's like a picnic....well...so is this how Rogers is like.........everyday is like a holiday! anyway :)
~*
Tyndale Accepted me............yay yay...I ran to Lori and told her about the news. I felt really excited. It's my plan....if the major I chose doesn't accept me now, I will apply next year. But they did, I was accepted!!! I am accepted :)
hm....
yeah, I'm just really thankful for Father's guidance. Everything that happens, big and small, brings me to who I am today, prepares me to be where I need to be today....
and last but not least....
DMBC people and friends who are on my heart (whether you know it or not)
*heart*
Every Thursday - piano class ...
it's just safe - I don't play very well, but I'll not be accused of playing wrong notes, wrong tempo, wrong rhythm or unawareness of the harmonic rhythm...
I wouldn't be accused of anything...
except I'll be corrected, very kindly, patiently corrected ... every week, again and again, until I can do it naturally.
Sometimes I'm afriad that I'll feel ashame of my performance, but everytime after class, I felt relief because my teacher will never ever put me to shame...even though he is Very goood!
Don't know when I started to develop this mentality thinking that if people are very good at something...if I don't perform as well as they are, I will feel shameful.
But it's the exact opposite. If someone is truly....really good at something, they'll be the last person who will try to make you feel ashame.
This is the kindness and gentleness I have been experiencing of Father in Heaven lately...The Lord is good.
This is unbelievable.
This experience.
~*
So....today's weather is so fine........gentle breeze and a lovely blue sky....
Shawn, Jen, Brian and I walked to the nearby plaza during lunch...under the bridge and across the railway....after getting our sandwich at Krinzo, we ate outside the office, under the shades. It's like a picnic....well...so is this how Rogers is like.........everyday is like a holiday! anyway :)
~*
Tyndale Accepted me............yay yay...I ran to Lori and told her about the news. I felt really excited. It's my plan....if the major I chose doesn't accept me now, I will apply next year. But they did, I was accepted!!! I am accepted :)
hm....
yeah, I'm just really thankful for Father's guidance. Everything that happens, big and small, brings me to who I am today, prepares me to be where I need to be today....
and last but not least....
DMBC people and friends who are on my heart (whether you know it or not)
*heart*
Thursday, June 3, 2010
just flow - no interruption
Lesson with David Swan (Thursday)
Just flow - no interruption
what kills you is.....you gotta let your playing flow - without interruption - thanks for reminding me to FOCUS....
When I am focus..there won't be any interruption - (when David is teaching Sonata by Hindemith 1st movement)
Thanks for restoring peace in my heart...there could be zillion things going on ...in my mind, in real life......finding jobs....being disrupted emotionally b/c of other people's view and perception of who I am......
Focus...no interruption....
and it's when I try hard to seek that one goal I am given, unless I have a teacher who gave me direction and notice what I did incorrectly and gave me kind guidance.....
I wouldn't be corrected so quickly....thank you teacher
Dear Teacher,
It's too interesting to hear from you saying that "if you had practiced...like that that that when you were young" you would have been a much a better pianist....
You're a teacher who really show me how "good" music can be....and I can't believe that you say that you "could be a much better pianist" implying that you're not good enough....this is unbelievable.
Anyone who have heard you, should agree with me that you're a very good concert pianist/performer....Musician.
I guess....Only a good musician would know how good music can be, and strive to become better
I live in a world where everyone, including myself strive to prove that we're good enough...we're good in whatever that we do....or doing....
It is profound to hear a good musician like you to say that you could be a better pianist if you had "practice a certain way" when you were young...
This is a humbling experience....thank you for modeling, teaching, and correcting, Teacher...
"He who thinks that he has finished is finished. How true. Those who think that they have arrived, have lost their way. Those who think they have reached their goal, have missed it. An important part of life is to keep longing, waiting, hoping, expecting." - Henri Nouwen - Genessee Diary
Just flow - no interruption
what kills you is.....you gotta let your playing flow - without interruption - thanks for reminding me to FOCUS....
When I am focus..there won't be any interruption - (when David is teaching Sonata by Hindemith 1st movement)
Thanks for restoring peace in my heart...there could be zillion things going on ...in my mind, in real life......finding jobs....being disrupted emotionally b/c of other people's view and perception of who I am......
Focus...no interruption....
and it's when I try hard to seek that one goal I am given, unless I have a teacher who gave me direction and notice what I did incorrectly and gave me kind guidance.....
I wouldn't be corrected so quickly....thank you teacher
Dear Teacher,
It's too interesting to hear from you saying that "if you had practiced...like that that that when you were young" you would have been a much a better pianist....
You're a teacher who really show me how "good" music can be....and I can't believe that you say that you "could be a much better pianist" implying that you're not good enough....this is unbelievable.
Anyone who have heard you, should agree with me that you're a very good concert pianist/performer....Musician.
I guess....Only a good musician would know how good music can be, and strive to become better
I live in a world where everyone, including myself strive to prove that we're good enough...we're good in whatever that we do....or doing....
It is profound to hear a good musician like you to say that you could be a better pianist if you had "practice a certain way" when you were young...
This is a humbling experience....thank you for modeling, teaching, and correcting, Teacher...
"He who thinks that he has finished is finished. How true. Those who think that they have arrived, have lost their way. Those who think they have reached their goal, have missed it. An important part of life is to keep longing, waiting, hoping, expecting." - Henri Nouwen - Genessee Diary
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